I'm on month #7 of my maternity leave. I have 5 months to go. Yes, that's still a while, but I can't help but think a little, here and there, about going back to work.
By the time I go back to work, Emmett will be about 11 months old. What if he's not walking yet? What if I miss his first steps? What else will I miss? Right now, if I am away from Emmett even for a couple of hours, I miss him. What's it going to be like when I'm away from him for a whole day? Four or five days out of every seven? My heart sinks--a lot--when I think about that.
Anxiety started creeping into my gut as I started wondering how in the world would I be able to get enough quality time in with Emmett after work and on weekends, spend time with Joel, keep my house clean, get enough rest myself and have some time, here and there, to think/reset/recharge/destress. How? Is this even possible?
My thoughts then spread out to all of the wonderful women who I know that work and have children. You know who you are! There are varying degrees of this phenomenon, whether you work from home or out of the home, whether you work part time or full time, but either way, I can only imagine how challenging the life of a working mother must be. How? Is this even possible?
Here's a shout out to all of those wonderful working mothers. Don't be surprised if I call or message you about how you do it, how you get through the days, when I go back to work. I don't quite understand how someone can really do all of these things without frustration, stress, being tired, wishing that the eighth day of the week would please appear already, and then trying desperately to fit everything that would fit so much more comfortably in eight days, into the ritual seven that we were given. How? Is this even possible?
It's a wonder: the working mother. Working a full-time job, maintaining relationships and keeping a home is a challenge. Raising children, loving them, being there for them, protecting them, teaching them, training them, providing for them and fostering their passions is also a challenge. To put them together sticks a lump in my throat, a tear in my eye for the women who do this, a wave of emotion through my chest and the desperate clicking away of my brain to calculate a plan of how. How. How can I make this possible?
So far, from the perspective of a not-quite-working-mother-yet, I've come up with one solution. Through all of this I am reminded by a still, small voice that God is faithful. Always faithful. He gives us "strength for today and bright hope for tomorrow." I can't help but choose to look forward to the next several years of my life as awesome years; probably very busy years, very tiring years, but awesome years nonetheless.
Both now and continually through the coming years, I wish all of you working mothers the BEST:
May God's faithfulness be your rock
The only rock that will never roll
May He lead you to green pastures and still waters
May He restore your soul
May His own dear presence cheer and guide you
Build up your self-control
Provide you with patience
For all the hard days
Remind you of His faithfulness
In all His loving ways.
Great Is Thy Faithfulness